Some Recent British Boxing Jokes

by on January 14, 2013 in Jokes

Some Recent British Boxing Jokes

Enjoy this round up the most commonly shared British, (or Limey, if you’re American) boxing Jokes of the last couple of years. At times these guys have made for painful viewing, but the jokes usually make up for it…

Audley Harrison
I feel like I’ve been 12 rounds with Audley Harrison.
Absolutely fine.
All this talk about not smacking children is ridiculous.

My Uncle Audley used to beat me as a child and it did me no harm.

The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
The second rule of Fight Club is don’t let Audley Harrison in, unless it’s ladies night.
I heard that Ricky Hatton is going on the Jeremy Kyle show to discuss domestic abuse.

Apparently they are going to get a few women on to show him how to punch properly.
What do michael jackson and Audley harrison have in common ?
They both wear gloves for no reason
Nan’s well in her 90′s, riddled with arthritis and half blind, but carries on regardless. Only yesterday she came out a shop struggling with her shopping and some huge black man took her bag and offered to help. Thinking he was robbing her, she just laid him out …

It’s not really been Audley Harrison’s week.

What’s the difference between Audley Harrison and a deckchair?
* It takes time to get a deckchair to fold.
Why does no-one like Audley Harrison?

He hasn’t hurt anyone!
There are calls for Audley Harrison to not receive his £1m purse.

I disagree. After that fight, a purse would suit him perfectly.
I just saw Audley Harrison down at the local off licence and he ordered two bottles of rum, a bottle of brandy, three bottles of Martini, a bottle of whisky and some fruit juice.

I think he was trying to learn how to make a punch.

Amir Khan
I heard A Mere Con is making his acting debut soon. He’s starting in the sequel to the movie “Gone in 60 seconds”. It’s called “Gone in 54 seconds”

Did you hear that Amir Khan is allergic to injections? One light jab and he’s on the floor for hours*
*Regularly takes hard punches in his defence
What’s the difference between Amir Khan and a Rustler’s burger?

About seven seconds

What do Amir Khan and TB have in common?

One jab and it’s all over.

What’s the difference between Amir Khan and my wife?

My wife never goes down.
David Haye
I was going to tell a David Haye joke, but I just can’t seem to type properly since I broke my toe.
What’s the difference between David Haye and my wife?

When my wife trash talks, she gets a belt.
What’s the difference between David Haye and my trousers?

My trousers have a belt.
I think I should get half of David Haye’s purse.

I watched the fight in 3D, which meant I got closer to Klitschko than he did.

I like Audley Harrison, but I also like David Haye.

Which one is better? There’s only one way to find out…

FIII… Oh, it’s David Haye.
What’s the difference between David Haye and my ****?

My ****’s hard when in the presence of a klit
Just heard that David Haye’s wife has left him, she said it’s not the first time he couldn’t hit the Klit

Ricky Hatton

What’s the difference between a £20 note and Ricky Hatton?

The £20 note will last more than 2 rounds!

What have Ricky Hatton and Gary Glitter got in common? They both went down when they tried to take a little Filipino in the ring!
I think Wayne Rooney should be dropped as the face of Coca-Cola.

They should hire a genuine, coke-loving sportsman like Ricky Hatton.

Ricky Hatton walks into a bar and the barman says, “Hi.”
Hatton replies, “Yeah, a little bit…”
Carlsberg don’t do comebacks but I’m guessing if they did Ricky Hatton would be very much left out of their advertising campaign.

¡¡¡ǝɥɔɐpɐǝɥ ɐ ʇoƃ ʇsnɾ sʞuɐɥʇ ǝuıɟ ɯɐ ˙ǝɹǝɥ uoʇʇɐɥ ʎʞɔıɹ
What have Amir Khan, Ricky Hatton and Graham Norton got in common?
They’ve all been licked in the ring!
Ricky Hatton has been having problems sleeping. His doctor advised him to count sheep. Only trouble is, when he reaches nine, he stands up.
Well at least Ricky Hatton can finally continue his career as a stand up comedian. Oh wait….

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