Are these the WORST Boxing Jokes on the web?

by on January 14, 2013 in Jokes

Are these the WORST Boxing Jokes on the web?

As boxing fans we all know that the sweet science regularly provides us with a reasonable amount of (dark) comedy, but unfortunately this isn’t one of those moments. These jokes are utterly terrible. Basically my need for launch content, outweighs my concern for quality at this stage.

So, seconds out, Round 1, Let’s get ready to Grumble… :)

Questions and Answers
1. What do you call a boxer crossed with a hoover?
Mike Dyson
2. Who’s the most feared boxer in Australia?
* Sting Ray Robinson.
“My dad is a boxer.” “What is your mother?” “Extremely cautious!”
The boxer had written on his tombstone: “You can stop counting. I’m not getting up.”
3. Q: What does a boxer ask for at the hairdressers?
A: An UpperCut
4. Q: What is the difference between a woman and a boxer?
A: The boxer stands up to be knocked down. The woman lies down to be knocked up!
5. Q: What do they call a boxer who gets beaten up in a fight?
A: A sore loser.
6. What is the difference between a prostitute and a boxer?
The boxer stands there and tries to keep from being knocked down.
And then there was the boxing referee who used to work for NASA; everytime a fighter would go down, he’d start counting “10, 9,
8….”

Fictional/Awful Pieces of Commentary
The boxer was so far behind in points he had to knock out his opponent just to get a draw.

The boxer had written on his tombstone: “You can stop counting. I’m not getting up.”
His trainer told him to stay down till eight. He looked up from the canvas and said, “What time is it now?”

He only learned to count up to ten. He thought that after ten came, “You’re out!”

He boxed as Kid Candle. One blow and he was out
He’s the only boxer in the history of the sport to be knocked out while shadow boxing.
He boxed under the name of Kid Cousteau because he took so many dives.
He only learned to count up to ten. He thought that after ten came, “You’re out!”
His trainer told him to stay down till eight. He looked up from the canvas and said, “What time is it now?”
He’s an ambidextrous fighter. He can get knocked out with either hand.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
He was a crossword puzzle boxer. He entered the ring vertical and left horizontal.

Shite anecdotes
A fighter was taking a beating. When the bell rang, he staggered to his corner. Dousing him with a bucket of water, his manager suggested, “Let him hit you with the left for a change. Your face is all crooked and you may as well make it even while you lose!”
3. “Just think of it,” said the boastful boxer to the manager. “Tonight I’ll be fighting on TV before millions of people.” “Yes,” replied the manager, “and they’ll all know the results of the fight at least ten seconds before you do.”

Years after they had both retired, a former opponent ran in to Willy Pepp
He said to Willy,”Willy do you remember me?”
Willy squinted at him for a second and said,”Lie down so I can recognize you”
A fighter was taking a terrific beating. When the bell rang, he staggered to his corner. His manager said, “Let him hit you with his left for awhile. Your face is crooked.”
I quit because I had a problem with my hands. The refs kept stepping on them.
Manager: “How would you like to fight for the crown?” Boxer: “Great. I think I can take the queen in about three rounds.”

When I was a fighter I kept my head. I lost my teeth, but I kept my head.
Boxer, after battering opponent unmercifully: “There’ll be no rematch for that chump. My hands couldn’t stand the punishment.”

Misc Jokes
There were three babies in a woman’s womb, and they were discussing what they would like to be when birthed and grown up. The first one said “I wanna be a plumber.” The others laughed at this, and asked “why a plumber?” He replied, “so I can fix the pipes in here, its kinda leaky.” The second one said “I wanna be an electrician.” The others laughed at this and asked “why an electrician?” He replied, “so I can get some light in here, its dark! The third one said “I wanna be a boxer. The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full 5 minutes, before asking, “why in the world do you want to be a boxer?” He replied, “so I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us!”
I know that there will never be women’s boxing. A woman wouldn’t think of putting on gloves without a purse and shoes to match.
I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised.
“What happened to your face?” I asked.
“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.
“Boxing?” I enquired.
“No…” he said, “… hurdles.”

I love watching women’s heavyweight boxing.
It’s hilarious to see them fight back tears when the announcer tells everyone their weight.

* Why do so many Australians get involved in boxing culture?
It’s the only time they ever get to hear the word “culture”.
* The entire history of Australia is founded on them illegally assaulting black men.

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